The day I ran alone near school

Wednesday, 3 October 2007, 9:10 pm
Location: SMU, Library, Level 4, SMUX Corner

Just finished dinner at Fisherman’s Wharf at 8 pm. The people who went were, WB, John, Jac, XW & me. All but Jac went there with bags & all, but then decided that to go back to the library as it was still quite early. All but WB went back. As usual, the library looks full for this time, but must be due to the mid terms this week. Everyone is mugging for their tests this week. Maybe the reason I went back was because of her, but this reminds me about what I thought about when I was running today.

Earlier today, I went to run alone, as WB did not bring his running gear. But this gave me time to think about what WY said to me yesterday. The main thing was “Why do I like her?”. Well truthfully, can’t think of any good reasons. Cause every reason that I can think of, in most cases, can be found in the girls around me. So I think to truly know whether you like someone, it is more about each person’s beliefs about things. If your belief on things matches, there would be a chance that you would be together. Even if it differs, as long you are able to talk it out, you would be able to bring things forward. So I would have to say that it goes back to communication.

For the friends that I have gotten close to, you all might see me as someone who is crappy & maybe talk too much. But for those who are new to me, or not as close, you would know me as someone who is silent & don’t talk much.
Well the reasons that I have always say are these few, Don’t know what to talk about, Not comfortable talking, Want alone time with the person.
But like what others have tell me, Why don’t you have anything to talk to the person about, Is it because you don’t know the person well? Why are you not comfortable talking? Why the fear? Scared that you would embarrass yourself?

Well I don’t know, about scared of being embarrass is quite true. There is always that fear specifically if it is in front of people I am fond about. But why have that fear. Just be yourself like you have been in front of your close friends. Never fear about embarrassing yourself in front of her. Cause I think if you do, then you are not letting her know the true you. Cause what you are showing her is just a mask. Nothing more than that. Cause your true self is the self that you are in front of your closest friends.

Learn to open up, show your true self in front of everyone. Never stop trying to open up. Cause if you do close up, then people would never have the chance to know you.

 Well thats it. END : 10:08 pm