Lancer-Matrix BLOG

Blog

  • Opening CR4

    After my last post, CR4 or combined rehearsal 4 reminded me of what it means to be doing what I’m doing. To create a lasting impression of the youth olympic games to the athletes, officials and everyone who is here for the games. To see Singapore flag flown, shown to the whole world. To be the last NOC to be introduced during the parade of flags, as the host nation of the first Youth Olympic Games, makes my decision to take a year off from school ever so significant. And makes it so worth it. It truly can bring a tear to my eye. On occasions I almost really wanted to cry.

    But the politics that I have to see happening around me also makes this effort so much less significant. It really makes me feel that the bunch of old fools in my office are just spoiling and destroying the values of excellence, friendship and respect.

    I would still by the words of my previous post. And act dumb when I want to. I know sometimes it is a matter of perception of whether they have briefed me proper and that they have communicated to me at all. But the perception they have given me is what I have written.

    Every time I think about it, it just makes me angry. I will support my team and the people who support me, the rest can just go to hell.

    I maybe the soft spoken, but once you get me angry, don’t expect me to give any of you face at all.

  • I am not a “TOY” and I will act “dumb” if I want

    I really think that some groups of people just don’t have the basic respect for others. I am not even in your section and if you require help at least have the decency to at least brief me on the things I need to do. Don’t expect me to know, if you don’t brief, I would just act dumb and not do anything. I don’t say much, but if I am willing to say that I will not cooperate. I will tell you that my laptop has issues, I don’t know how to use powerpoint, excel, word & everything you need me to do, I don’t care. What can you do to me, Just bring it on.

    This is not the army where your man just listen and follow what you do. Even volunteers / STARS get a briefing about what they need to do.

    I know I still have a long working life. But my life is my own, if it bends my principles to have to cooporate with idiots without a basic respect for other people, then I don’t given a shit about what you or other people think any more.

    I will only support the team that has taken care of me, ask me anything to do with my area of work, I will answer, know how to use a computer, no issue with it, know how to use excel, powerpoint & even word.

    And even if it is that Idiot Senior Head that volunteered me, don’t take it that I know about it, SO DON”T EXPECT ME TO DO ANYTHING.

    And even if you brief me now, my stand is set. And I will not back off from it.

    And if you want to talk to me about professionalism, then tell them to show respect first.  After all, I am a person, who has his own oponion, and at least ask my view on it and have some say.

    ANYWAY, I DON”T CARE ALREADY.

  • Stressed

    Well, I think the strain is getting to me. Getting more and more irritated by people. Especially if they are asking things that have been briefed to them before. Trying to keep myself from shouting at the idiots. Blasted once last friday.

    Hope I can last till the end of the week. At least once everything have started, some of what I’m doing now can be done. Cause they just keep sending and sending. Then have to track, make sure it is printed then pass to them, then make sure they issue properly. Getting very frustrated.

    I just want to make sure that everything is done and they have everything they need to do their job. Otherwise how?

    Sometime just want to just reject them already. Cause everything was like close since last month. They think what, just give me a number and take your time to give.

    Sorry to all those that have to continue to help with handling the submission. It’s hard for other people also, they have to import it into the system, check the photo, then print the cards. They think we do magic meh.

    Haiz. Just a little more to go. Just a little more.

    Something more, today the taxi uncle was quite nice, for every question that he ask and I answer, he would say thank you. And in a nice tone. I guess I should learn from him.

  • Deep End

    Recently heard about people complaining about being thrown into the deep end of the pool, how much work it is etc etc.

    Well, if you feel that you are in the deep end of the pool and still can talk so much then I think you are not doing enough.

    After all, if you are in the deep end, you should just shut up and start swimming. Opening your mouth to complain about it just gives you more chances to drown.

    So “SHUT UP AND START SWIMMING (WORKING)”.

  • We are Commanders

    We are Commanders.
    It is our job to manage risks.
    It is our responsibility to speak up when things are not right.
    It is our duty to take charge and put things right when things go wrong.
    We are ultimately responsible for everything that happens and does not happen under our watch.

    BG Chan Chun Sing
    Chief of Army

    Although this quote might be directed at military personnel, I believe that this is really applicable to all those that are working or organises events. After all, everyone is a leader / “commanders” in their own right. Be it organisers of events, managers that take care of teams or even just being participants. We are ultimately responsible for what happens to us and we will speak up when things are not right. Sometimes we might say “leave it to the younger ones to learn and make mistakes”, but I don’t believe that should be the right way, afterall if you know the actions taken is a mistake why let them learn from that. Wouldn’t be it better to let them learn from the mistakes that you don’t even know or foresee?

    Well being seniors, we can advise all we want but in the end, whether you want to listen is up to you. Afterall, you would be the one that is ultimately responsible for everything that happens and does not happen under your watch. 6 more month till the end, work hard, do your best.

    For me, there is less than 80 days left. Here and there, operations are starting. Everyone is working hard moving towards it, can see the day getting closer and closer. From the website to the clock at the corner in front of ION. From the things that need to be done, to the things that have been done. IT’S GETTING CLOSER……

    Another quote that I would remember, “the only way to avoid making mistakes is not to do anything. And that…will be the ultimate mistake”, cause we are in the end responsible for everything under our watch.

  • Ride to Ringit

    Today’s ride to Ringit was quite an interesting one. A lot of first for me. Started off a little late today. but we got to Pengerang Jetty at 1130. Then went on to collect our bikes from the local shop. Headed to Ringit for lunch. Along the way saw the SMUX group heading back. Got to lunch point at 1300. Lunch was still ok. Set off at 1400. Found out that one of the bikes had a flat. So the guys had to take turns to ride it back. Just as we headed out of the town, It started to rain. But due to the lack of time we pushed on. As we got closer to the shop, it rain stopped. Got there like 1530. Then got sent to the Jetty. There was quite a number of people there. But due to our group size, we waited and waited. Really thought that we would not be going back. But at last, quite late at about 1730, we finally got a boat back to Singapore. The boat was new and had air-con in it. Reached back to Singapore at about 1800.

    Quite an adventure. haha 😀

  • Birthday Post

    Well, another year passed. Everything as per normal. Everything happened as per expected. Like last year, never expect too much, then you would not feel disappointed.

    Thank to those that remembered. At least you all did make the effort to at least look at facebook. To those that SMS & Twitter, you are some of the few that did. Thanks.

    124 Days to Singapore 2010 Youth Olympic Games. Didn’t realise that it shows my birthday 12/4 yesterday. Time to work harder and better each day toward the opening. That’s the least I can do.

  • Altius II – Day 1

    Today is the first day of the trip. We reach the hotel early and spend the whole day lazing around the hotel area. Sleeping and eating. Ate with ben, lionel, wei wen, calvin for breakfast . Then lunch went to eat at some store. For dinner had KFC. Tomorrow would the start of the cycling. Let’s do it.

  • Failures

    Was reading a The New Paper article yesterday talking about how a group of NUS students has to do a project that involves helping others. Like how they started by finding prostitutes willing to be “saved” but could find any and eventually found a foreign student that was cheated by a “university” here that took him in. They tried to raise funds for him to help him return home but was no where close to being able to send him back. And they feared that they would fail the project when they compared themselves to other groups that were doing projects like “helping guys propose to their girlfriends” and “helping someone learn Hokkien”.

    Reading this I found myself thinking, Have I either numbed myself to failing or are they just not able to see beyond the project. I feel that they just trying to help someone that is really in need of help is more worthwhile than a project that “helps to propose to someone else”. Even if they fail to help the person get back home, at least they helped. And I really hope that they get the best grade among all the teams.

    Sometimes I feel that people can’t see beyond the failure of a project to see what has actually been done and what can be learn from it. A failure is a failure and nothing can be learn from it. The fear of failing stops people from stepping out to do things to make a difference, to be creative, to be just different. Cause if you fail, they would just keep repeating that to you.

    Something that I learn from my BSM to Israel and really liked about that place is that no one is going to repeat about your failure, no one is going to tell you that giving up that high paying job in Intel or Oracle and starting your own company is a dumb thing to do. They would support you and tell you that you can make it. May be we should just be able to see beyond the result of passing or failing and be able to see what we actually learned or are doing to help others. Maybe that is why we are not as creative or as innovative as them.

    Well, I guess it’s a culture issue. We are too results focus that we can’t see beyond it.

    Looking at the field of IT, learning what I have learnt, I know that most (and it’s really a lot) of project fail. It is a fact of life in the industry that project do fail, they either don’t meet the deadline, overrun the budget, etc. For every software project that finished, there would be 9 that failed. Maybe that is why I don’t see failure as failing anymore, it’s more about what I can learn from this so that next time, this wouldn’t happen again.

    In the end, I just hope that we can look beyond that results and learn from every experience and every failure that we get.

  • Expectation

    Well today had a good lunch with WJ, caught up a little on what each of us have been doing. Although he said that he learn something from me everytime we talk, I think I too learn alot from him too. Being able to just share and think through things, listening to his experiences from his travels.

    I think one important lesson is this, don’t expect too much from other people, they might just disappoint you. Have no expectation and just live a simple life.

    The only one that you can expect more from is just yourself. At least you are in control.